“I wish that you were here or that I were there, or that we were together anywhere.”
I think this is probably the phrase my boyfriend and I are living by at the moment. Missing each other and trying to think of ways to spend more time together. It makes me wonder what are the key ingredients in maintaining a long distance relationship and how can you make it really work.
The boy and I met in a Korea although our real homes are at opposite sides of the globe (Cork and California respectively). It seemed to work. But now that we are not in the same country but in fact in totally different foreign countries, and separated from one another, how can this work?
Although we may not have had much time together, we have made the most of the little time we had. How did we do this? Compromise. As I am living and working in Korea and he is travelling South East Asia, we are physically not THAT far away from each other..I mean whats a few countries in the way? Well, not much when you both fly halfway to meet once in a while.
In January we both flew to the Philippines(me from Korea and him from Cambodia) to spend some time together, then again went our separate ways. I guess those last, few precious minutes in the airport saying goodbye were crucial, unsure if we would ever see each other again.
In April we are meeting in Taiwan for the weekend, with me flying again from Korea and him from Myanmar/Burma. With limited budgets and limited time off (in my case anyway) such breaks are hard to come by so every hour will be special. 2 months apart followed by a weekend together can be really devastating emotionally. It is difficult type of relationship and not for the impatient nor for the weak. It will test your friendship, your trust, your loyalty and your relationship to the core.
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”
Another important factor in trying to make it work is constant communication. Keep in touch as often as possible. It doesn’t matter what you write, even if it is trivial things about your everyday life, whats going on at work,gossip among friends, whats in the news… I always love getting a card, or a text or an email, hearing from someone you are missing always makes your day that much more special.
Where we hang on their every word –to get empty ones is among the worst things in the world. Talk about good times in the past, make plans for the future. Rendezvous, weekends away, what you are looking forward to. Telling someone you miss them again and again may seem tedious or repetitive but I’m sure your other half will never tire of hearing those magical 3 words.
It is also important to be brutally honest and this can be one of the most difficult things of all. If something is annoying you or bothering you or getting you down, spit it out. Otherwise it will just grow inside you and between the two fo you, a secret growing bigger every day. Talk things through, listen, never jump to conclusions and try to love a person just the way they are.
Distance can make things so frustrating, not been able to talk whenever you so please but often having to wait days or even weeks. Emails must suffice instead of talking, smily icons instead of physical hugs! But if you can make it through the distance, and still have what appears to be a healthy relationship at the other end, you will have accomplished a lot more than many others in the past have failed to do.
“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.”